You know you’re an A-Freak when,
·
You start to prefer cold showers
·
You haven’t worn socks in over a month
·
You actually like the smell of BO
·
Deodorant is an optional thing to adorn
·
Instead of buying new golf clubs you spend your money on Artemisinin
·
You know how to spell Artemisinin (spell-checker saved me on that last
line)
·
You enjoy making phone calls to Africa, cell to cell, only understanding
3% of the conversation
·
You spend your free time doing things like what I’m doing right now
·
You have at least one tattoo of something African
·
You believe that black people in Africa are better than black people in
the States (that’ll raise some eyebrows)
·
You try to hang around black people in the States, just because they’re
black
·
You actually become racist toward white people (another eyebrow raiser)
·
Your car CD player has a “learn to speak Swahili” disc in it
·
You know how to spell Mizuri, Habari and Kumbya
·
You actually enjoy living off of cliff bars for part of your summer
·
You develop the habit of carrying wet-ones everywhere you go
·
Filth becomes a relative term
·
You think that Nogales Mexico is pretty darned civilized
·
256K baud rate is ok
·
You start to consider buying property in Africa
·
You actually look for foods containing high amounts of fat and sodium
·
Goat meat tastes like chicken
·
Chicken meat tastes like steaks
·
You learn how to live on eating only potatoes for each meal
·
Being clean becomes optional
·
You’ve actually eaten some sugar cane
·
You wear at least 5 pieces of African jewelry
·
You shave your head so lice can’t make permanent homes on your scalp
·
People criticize you for ‘not helping the poor people here in the good
ole US of A’
·
Some of your family members view you as ‘over the top with this Africa
thing’
·
You stop wearing a watch
·
When you speak in a group meeting, you stand up
·
You understand how a malaria net can catch fish
·
You realize that the word ‘malaria’ should not be in upper case
·
You say the word “yes,” very slowly as people are speaking to you
·
Someone in Africa gives you a sweet potato as a gift
·
You make people sick because of your passion about Africa (like I’m
doing right now)
·
People avoid being around you because all that you talk about is Africa
·
You have some Swahili in your signature line on your emails
You know you’re not an A-Freak when,
·
You think that African Bags is a cover up front for a pimping
operation
·
You still believe that the word Negro is an appropriate way of
addressing black people
·
You acknowledge that “there will be Negros in heaven”
·
You believe that Mzee (pronounced Moe Zay) is something that you eat for
dessert
·
You mention that some of your best friends are Negroes
·
You think Mizuri is a state in America
·
You think Habari is a type of portable grill
·
You hate the song Kumbya
·
You think that Africa has wild animals roaming around everywhere
·
You think Entebbe is a type of dope like Sesimia
·
You think ONE “is the loneliest number”
·
You think Bono is pronounced BOE NO or Boner
·
You think social injustice is about cutting in line at the checkout lane
·
You call The States, ‘America’
·
You have never heard the term A-Freak
·
You think the HIV Aids pandemic will ‘fix itself’ through the process
of natural selection and survival of the fittest
·
You think the HIV Aids pandemic is God’s way of punishing gay people
·
You think a 501c3 is a type of Levi jeans
·
You think the word Bhati is a term for a hot chick
·
You have a bumper sticker that says, “Live in Wyoming, Fish in Wyoming”
·
You think Kiswahili is the Swahili that is indigenous to some Florida
Island chain
·
You take personal offense of this email
·
You think Dr. Martin Luther King was a historical figure in the
Protestant Reformation
·
You think that Nelson Mandela is a type of head lock in wrestling
·
You think that Barack Obama is somehow related to Osama Ben Laden
·
You haven’t gotten this far in this email and have deleted by now
·
You somehow think that Rwanda and Uganda are the same