Friday, November 19, 2010

Alles in Ordnung!

The other night my daughter was visiting and accused” me of having an obsessive/compulsive disorder when it came to cleaning stuff and keeping things, in what I term, a state of order. My German heritage (Alles in Ordnung) coupled with being a Virgo may account and lend some good credence to this accusation. In reflecting on this potential truth, I took a quick inventory of some of my behaviors.
I’ll report, you decide:

1) my garage has 3 vacuum cleaners, all used for expressly different purposes and labeled accordingly,
2) my cologne is arranged in a cost descending order such that the cheaper stuff is used first whilst the expensive (Givenchy Pi) is used only for those special occasions,
3) my email in box never has anything older than 1 week in it,
4) my breakfast routine is carefully organized for the expedient and quick morning execution plan,
5) my morning “sit down” is scheduled in my Outlook,
6) my work desks (home and at the office) are free of litter and unwarranted paper refuting the axiom “a clean desk is a sign of a sick mind,”
7) my public restroom behaviors NEVER touch anything (don’t get technical here, please!) without a paper towel insulator,
8) I enjoy hanging around organized people and listen for tips (& write them down) on ways to get more organized,
9) I make many lists, then sticky notes reminding me to read the lists,
10) my truck is washed at least 3 times/week and dusted nightly and
11) most of my writing is about things that repulse me (except for when I write about myself, like this piece).

So maybe my daughter is correct in her assessment. In actuality, I would re-term the aforementioned “accusation” and re-term it an attribute, of which I wish more people possessed. Nothing is more disgusting than to walk into a colleague’s cube and see piles of paper and a cutesy little sign that reads, “the buck gets lost here!” Dirty cars should be illegal and public restrooms should be designed “touch less” (eg DEN airport). I do struggle with this as the world seems to be moving more toward of a state of entropy versus organization, but that’s my problem. I enjoy my little neurosis and feed it regularly. I am sick, but organized!

Despite this disease, the worst part of it is that I actually don’t feel in control of anything (listen up here all of you Pscyh majors, this may be a thesis!) and I tend to lose things or misplace things. It’s like I’m so fricken organized, that I am out of control. The other day I had to replace a sink fixture because, in the spirit of organization, I tossed a .39 cent washer thinking that it was taking up valuable garage space and that I’d never need it again. $243 dollars later after a trip to Home Deep, I started to feel guilty.
But this feeling soon disappeared when I realized that I was 3 minutes late for fertilizing my lawn.
Sick, very sick.

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